I’ve had some unusually vivid dreams the last couple of nights. In one of them, I was essentially on a date with Danica Patrick. It was actually very pleasant. I was with her as she talked about racing to kids and answered their questions. Even when bad things happened (her car fell into a well) she was philosophical and good natured (“I probably would have wrecked it anyway…”) We then went to a neighborhood cook out and socialized and enjoyed ourselves. This dream was a little odd in that I don’t follow racing at all and probably know her more from her Go Daddy adds than anything else. Anyway, it was a nice dream, Danica, if you’re reading this, let’s try that for real! LOL.
This morning was different. It started out with me at work unable to help a couple out. I just could not think, I would stare at the computer and nothing would cross my mind at all. It’s one of the uglier side effects of MS, the dreaded brain cloud. Everyone was getting frustrated and I left. I found myself in an older, industrial town that I assumed was Binghamton NY. I figured that I’d visit my grandmother since I was there, but I was having trouble finding her house. I kept thinking that if I could just get to the next block over I would have my bearings again, so I decided that cutting through one of the buildings to get to the other side would be a good idea. I went into one, quickly realized that it wasn’t the one I was thinking and asked someone for directions. They said, “Oh, try going up the street a little bit more, but I just called the police, you better get going, and watch the traffic for them.” Gah, so i beat feet out of there and found another building to try to go through.
This one was clearly the wrong place as well, there were a bunch of people making things and regarding me suspiciously. Oh well, I thought I should sit down and think about things a little bit, I was getting tired from all of the walking around. I went back out to the loading dock and put my feet up on what looked like some pipes. As I did, it became obvious that they were actually glass hoops or tubes or something. They proceeded to rotate and then fall off of the spool and then shatter on the ground. Lots of people rushed up and made it clear that I had ruined everything, pretty soon a “suit” in a hardhat came out to see what was going on. He explained to me that I had just destroyed a shipment that they had just completed, an order worth about $100,000. I apologized profusely and asked if there was anything I could do. He told me that I had done enough, now he was going to have to do something in order for the company to cover its payroll. My frustration and anxiety kept rising and rising throughout the whole episode until a guy came sulking out of the place and explained that he had been laid off because of my incompetence.
The worst thing about all of it was that they were really nice about it. They were mad, but it was if they didn’t blame me all the while I had nothing but contempt for my idiocy. I woke up nearly in tears over getting the guy fired in this economy. On top of that, I realized how physically awful I felt too. Apparently I’ve come down with something. Man, what a way to start the day… Where’s Danica when you need her?